2002-02-18 [ almost there in hours lapse. ]
So I have almost braved through the harsh winter once again. Now I can almost look straight forward and steer myself ahead. The months have been filled with disappointing dreams and unfilled wishes that I still wonder about. The coming equinox is more hopeful than simple numbers changing indicating our planet revolving around the sun. Even in depressing situations I am able to turn back and say �Well least it�ll give me another story to tell.� I hope no one is putting assumptions of anything about me with anything that I say or do. There are too many faces that I decide to show and too many that I would save for someone else. I�m not sad, I�m not pissed, I�m not happy, I�m just fine. Perhaps a little empty, but fine either way. Few nights ago over some drinks I actually manage to find people with good enough of intellect and taste to feel normal. By normal I mean my old self. My peers generally dismiss me as having an older taste or strangely adverse to what is commonly accepted around here. But now I guess I don�t feel so out of place. Of course then I realized that none of these people were from here (southern California). That�s a pretty sad thought I had, when I live in a place where the people were raised to be so different that I�d have to shun from them. Yeah well who cares, least I know what I like.
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