2001-12-03 [ Life and love somewhere else. ]
I had to mail out Julaine's wedding invitation thing back today. I feel horrible that I am not able to fly back to Maryland for the event. The money is just not something I can pull out without having a job and living out on my own. On that note, I think I'm also afraid to see Robyn again. I want to be with her so much, but with the issues with her drug use... I haven't been able to bring myself to even call her in the last half a year. I still love her as I ever have, but I'm not sure when I talk to her that It's still the same Robyn Mcdill as when I left Maryland so long ago. It feels like every last conversation we've had have been in this format: Alan: Hello stranger Robyn: Hi Alan Alan: Haven't talked to you in a while Robyn: I know Alan: How are you? Robyn: Good Alan: What's been going on Robyn: Nothing much... Hey I can't talk right now, I just took *insert drug name here*. Alan: Oh.... okay Robyn: Call me tomorrow 3000 miles and long distance phone call, finished in 5 minutes. All I learn from those dialog is she's still alive. That's almost enough for me to keep me happy.
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