It takes 8 minutes for me to get gas. This morning I gave myself 10 extra minutes before going to class, so I was 2 minutes early.

Ford Focus� are ugly.

If my hands are cold, they rest of me is also cold.

Alyssa�s highlighter cap came off. There are highlights everywhere.

I hate it when I get too impatient to wait for the tram, 5 minutes later the tram passes me on the way to class.

There�s a shoe on that guy�s shirt. People have turned into billboards.

My accounting professor must be thinking I�m taking good notes, but I�m actually writing this.

He said Chicken King Company. He wants us to know about chicken kings.

He also wants us to know about invested capital.

For some reason, some people feel the need to lie about their own tastes. My friend Sabina claims she loves Pink Floyd. One time I was playing The Wall, she said to me �What the hell is this crap.� I bet she felt like an ass after I told her it was Floyd.

Chewing Gum was invented in 1870

This guy�s cell phone was ringing in class, and then he answered it in the middle of the lecture. I laughed.

Fat people shouldn�t wear vertical strips; they�ll look like watermelons

There are a lot of Asian people sitting in the back of class; they�re missing all the fun.

It�s funny when midterms roll around, you see people in your class you�ve never seen before.

Dude, that guy has a lesbian haircut

I wonder why they put all these holes in the ceiling tiles? Did someone have a genius design of holes on ceiling tiles and find that they are better then none-holed ceiling tiles? Ceiling tile engineer.

Some girl is eating ice cream, but wearing a big ass jacket and gloves. That doesn�t make sense to me.

Alyssa�s freezing, but her nipples are fine.

There�s a probation officer standing in front of me waiting for Chinese food. He has a gun.

Alyssa broke $100 bill to get hot chocolate that�s $1.50

Alyssa is now a lesbian, and she�s gonna let me watch. Seems to be the trend to be a lesbian.

Weed is an official new vitamin.

I decided that Alyssa spends too much money on her body

Watch out for chairs!

How rude! Some guy dropped a fork and didn�t pick it up. I bet he thinks it looks stupid to pick up a fork he dropped.

My fortune cookie tells me that I will find hidden treasures where least expected (under the sheets)

I wonder if there�s a guy who�s job is to write fortune for these cookies. I want to know his professional title. Like, would he be a writer or a fortuneteller?

I left a message with a penguin on it on one of those scrap paper boxes in the library. I figure it�ll either give someone a smile or a weird look. Either way, it�s a surprise.

Few weeks ago sitting in econ class, I found someone that wrote �I heart Kenny� on the back of the chair in front of me. I replied on the chair �I killed Kenny�. No one called be a bastard though.

You could tell the time of day by the shadow on our econ professor�s baldhead.

It�s weird how you can almost feel like when someone is looking at you.

Theory of Liquidity Preference has a lot of pointing arrows.

There is a biohazard sticker on the wall clock, if the clock is such a biohazard, why is it on the wall??

How come the school can supply a 60-inch TV for the classroom but have small ass desks?

The windows in here are the blurry type, this way we can�t look outside and daydream while all this learning is going on.

Chapstick � 44% Petrolatums 1.5% Padimate 1% Lanoline 1% Isopropyl Myristate 0.5% Cetyl Alcohol. So there is 52% missing from the chapstick, I feel ripped off.

On the chapstick labels they have the mailing address. I�m going to write them a letter that says, �chapsticks are rad� and nothing else.

The Econ Professor is telling us we are in a recession, doesn�t matter to me, I�m poor either way.

You can bring a horse to the water, but you can�t make him drink he said. I bet I can, I just need a super soaker.

Alyssa told me today that the cat is missing. Some guy might have taken him because they�re not suppose to have a cat. Poor kitty, I hope he�s okay. Anywhere he is though I�m sure it�ll be better than out in the streets where I found him.

I want to find a cow sleeping next to a ledge over a trampoline, so I could tip him over on to the trampoline and he�ll wake up bouncing and mooing.

It�s strange in California you are allowed to have a house infested with rats, but you are not allowed to own a ferret.